As I woke up this morning, I felt quite depressed. I couldn’t explain why. The previous day I was kind of vibrant, finishing my editing tasks. Then, just this morning, I had a different mood. Call it mood swings but rarely does it happen to me. Even amidst this unexplainable feeling, I dressed up , fixed myself, faked a smile as I looked at myself at the mirror for I believe that I am the captain of my ship, so I could set the tone for my day’s activities.
In the afternoon, a miracle happened, seemingly my loneliness vanished instantly. Do you want to know how it happened?
Every Sunday, I am used to attending the Light of Jesus “The Feast” comprising of a Holy Mass and a talk. So even if I felt quite heavy due to lack of sleep and my little depression, I still attended the Mass. During the Homily of the priest, I was moved to tears when he shared about the story of an old man who evidently suffered from stroke because of his distorted speech. That man approached the counter of a drug store, took out his money and gave the pharmacist the doctor’s prescription of his medicine. In his slurred speech, he tried to communicate with the pharmacist. After his transaction, he smiled at the priest beside him even if he never knew him. His smile communicated profound joy that despite his physical handicap,
he is still happy with his life. Not a tinge of sorrow can be seen in his eyes.
Upon hearing that story, I began to reflect on my life. I started asking myself questions like, “What is really making me sad? Why am I not happy with my life despite the bountiful blessings I have been receiving from God? Why do I still feel this kind of emptiness? Deep within me, I found answers to these questions. That the reasons for my loneliness and depression are my inability to accomplish all my pending work and projects and my being envious of others’ fortune and talents. All the while I thought I have already overcome envy. But now I realized it is coming back. Finding all these reasons makes me at peace with myself knowing what to work on in my spiritual life. Then, with this realization, I recalled once again that story of an old man. Using his life as an inspiration, I tried to forget all those worries, anxieties and envy in my head. I also prayed over them so that I will no longer be bothered by those negative thoughts. And thanks be to God, I can now say, I’m happy- happy despite all my work loads, despite my imperfections, and despite my feeling of insecurities that there are better and more talented people than I am.
I just do hope that this kind of joyful feeling will last.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
unbelievable hostage drama
I won't ever forget that tragic and sad ending of hostage taking that all the Filipino people have witnessed. It all started with SPO2 Rolando Mendoza's request to hitch in a tourist bus boarding almost 24 Chinese nationals who were on their last day of their tour in the Philippines. They were all supposedly going back to China that night of August 23, yet because of that hostage drama, nine of them died and the other six stayed at the hospital for one or two days to recuperate. Nine were reportedly released earlier that day before Mendoza fired successive shots.
SPO2 Mendoza's reason for hostage taking was to return him to his job. Newsreports in 2008 reveal that he was among five police officers charged with robbery, extortion and grave threats. The charges were laid after a hotel chef in Manila complained that officers had falsely accused him of using drugs in order to extort money from him.
The hostage drama started peacefully. At first, during the negotiation we saw how calm Mendoza was, in fact, he had been releasing some of the hostages in exchange for his simple requests like gas, food, etc. However, according to Isko Moreno, Vice Mayor of Manila, when he gave the letter from the Ombudsman, Mendoza seemed in good mood. Yet, after receiving a call from unknown source (as to date), his mood changed and started to fire a gun. He became all the more furious upon seeing his brother on TV being dragged by the police to a mobile car and be taken to a precinct. In a few seconds after that, he fired gunshots successively. With the police assaults and the continuous exchange of gunfire, nine Chinese died, and this death toll infuriated many Chinese in Hong Kong. Foreign reports say that some Chinese are maltreating their Filipino maids because of what had happened to their fellowmen.
How sad! Sad because a decorated military man risked his life for a just cause but for the wrong means. Sad because the means that he resorted to killed about nine foreigners, which made the Philippines the object of mockery worldwide. Sad because the hope that we are trying to build among our fellow citizens after the peaceful May 2010 elections was marred by the hostage taking.
I do hope it won't happen again in our history.
SPO2 Mendoza's reason for hostage taking was to return him to his job. Newsreports in 2008 reveal that he was among five police officers charged with robbery, extortion and grave threats. The charges were laid after a hotel chef in Manila complained that officers had falsely accused him of using drugs in order to extort money from him.
The hostage drama started peacefully. At first, during the negotiation we saw how calm Mendoza was, in fact, he had been releasing some of the hostages in exchange for his simple requests like gas, food, etc. However, according to Isko Moreno, Vice Mayor of Manila, when he gave the letter from the Ombudsman, Mendoza seemed in good mood. Yet, after receiving a call from unknown source (as to date), his mood changed and started to fire a gun. He became all the more furious upon seeing his brother on TV being dragged by the police to a mobile car and be taken to a precinct. In a few seconds after that, he fired gunshots successively. With the police assaults and the continuous exchange of gunfire, nine Chinese died, and this death toll infuriated many Chinese in Hong Kong. Foreign reports say that some Chinese are maltreating their Filipino maids because of what had happened to their fellowmen.
How sad! Sad because a decorated military man risked his life for a just cause but for the wrong means. Sad because the means that he resorted to killed about nine foreigners, which made the Philippines the object of mockery worldwide. Sad because the hope that we are trying to build among our fellow citizens after the peaceful May 2010 elections was marred by the hostage taking.
I do hope it won't happen again in our history.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
On Pleasing People
Every one dreams of being able to please people from family, friends, to even co-employees and clients. But pleasing others from the very meaning of the term really requires a tough job since each one has his/her own preferences. Hence, no matter what we do, we will still end up not being able to satisfy even the closest people in our lives, so why not be satisfied from knowing that some people genuinely appreciate us and all our efforts. The number doesn't matter as long we have people around who really support us and who will stand by our side.
So every time I encounter people's dissatisfactions, I try as much as I can to be of help, to address their concerns, yet if my efforts are not enough, I can just rest my case and do better some other time. What I learned in this life is not so much to care for what others will say as long as I am doing the best way I can - that is all that really counts.
So every time I encounter people's dissatisfactions, I try as much as I can to be of help, to address their concerns, yet if my efforts are not enough, I can just rest my case and do better some other time. What I learned in this life is not so much to care for what others will say as long as I am doing the best way I can - that is all that really counts.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Everyday Miracle
Have you ever felt helpless once in your life? Have you ever cried over a disease that requires immediate operation? Have you ever felt like a candle melting gradually right before your very eyes?
I have felt them all. It was only recently that I discovered I have a thyroid nodule. After a series of laboratory tests, the doctor said that I needed to undergo operation within three months since a hurtle cell feature was identified in the biopsy. A hurtle cell is an indiscriminate cell which may either be benign or malignant. To be certain about its identity, the nodule needs to be extracted wholly for biopsy.
That very moment upon hearing my doctor's advice, I couldn't control the tears welling from my eyes. I dread the time when a surgeon will open my neck and remove the solid mass in my thyroid. I have a lot of doubts. What if the doctor commits an error and some healthy tissues or cells get removed too along with the nodule which may cause my paralysis for life? What if because of the doctor's clumsiness, my voice box, larynx, gets affected which may further result in my loss of voice?
These doubts I couldn't get rid off in my mind. No matter what my doctor said it's safe and that I am in the best hospital in the Philippines, I couldn't convince myself to submit for operation.
Now, I am really thankful to God that I was given another option. I will have four months of medication and hopefully within this period, my nodule will become smaller so that it will not be removed by surgery.
With a lot of miracles happening around, I firmly believe God will create a miracle in my life. I know He will heal me of my thyroid in His time. Call it mysticism, but I choose to believe for I know with God nothing is impossible.
I have felt them all. It was only recently that I discovered I have a thyroid nodule. After a series of laboratory tests, the doctor said that I needed to undergo operation within three months since a hurtle cell feature was identified in the biopsy. A hurtle cell is an indiscriminate cell which may either be benign or malignant. To be certain about its identity, the nodule needs to be extracted wholly for biopsy.
That very moment upon hearing my doctor's advice, I couldn't control the tears welling from my eyes. I dread the time when a surgeon will open my neck and remove the solid mass in my thyroid. I have a lot of doubts. What if the doctor commits an error and some healthy tissues or cells get removed too along with the nodule which may cause my paralysis for life? What if because of the doctor's clumsiness, my voice box, larynx, gets affected which may further result in my loss of voice?
These doubts I couldn't get rid off in my mind. No matter what my doctor said it's safe and that I am in the best hospital in the Philippines, I couldn't convince myself to submit for operation.
Now, I am really thankful to God that I was given another option. I will have four months of medication and hopefully within this period, my nodule will become smaller so that it will not be removed by surgery.
With a lot of miracles happening around, I firmly believe God will create a miracle in my life. I know He will heal me of my thyroid in His time. Call it mysticism, but I choose to believe for I know with God nothing is impossible.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
My Vocation
Many times in my life I have felt like giving up my vocation. Every time I get home dead tired from the whole day work, I always say to myself, "Enough, enough." But then again, I am always cautioned by the thought of not finding the right work for me. To my mind, "If I will quit teaching, what job will I apply for? What office work will I be good at?" These questions are like a song's refrain lingering in my mind only to be reminded again and again of a similar answer, "Yes, I can find one, but I am pretty sure, I won't ever excel in that field."
God is good because His design is amazing. He gave each one of us talents which we can use in our vocation which He had designed for each of us even before our birth.
So, why will I quit if it's God who anointed me with this noble mission of educating the youth, the mission of molding the youth into Christlike individuals to make this world a better place to live in? Why will I quit if I know I am fortunate to be among the blessed ones, chosen to shape the mind of the future - to radically influence the youth to collectively work for a better future where peace, love, justice and love for nature reign in the hearts of the many. Why will I quit if I'm following the footsteps of our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, a Great Teacher, who laid down His own life for His unconditional love for you and me.
So, if time comes again that such bad idea of quitting crosses my mind, I'll brush it off and say, "I'm a teacher and I'll die as a teacher."
God is good because His design is amazing. He gave each one of us talents which we can use in our vocation which He had designed for each of us even before our birth.
So, why will I quit if it's God who anointed me with this noble mission of educating the youth, the mission of molding the youth into Christlike individuals to make this world a better place to live in? Why will I quit if I know I am fortunate to be among the blessed ones, chosen to shape the mind of the future - to radically influence the youth to collectively work for a better future where peace, love, justice and love for nature reign in the hearts of the many. Why will I quit if I'm following the footsteps of our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, a Great Teacher, who laid down His own life for His unconditional love for you and me.
So, if time comes again that such bad idea of quitting crosses my mind, I'll brush it off and say, "I'm a teacher and I'll die as a teacher."
Monday, June 21, 2010
Saved by an angel
I believe angels are real. If they are not, how could we explain miracles that happened to babies and children who were miraculously saved from danger?
I could vividly remember I was 6 years old then. After school, I went directly to my playmate's grandmother's house where my 6 other friends joined me to play. We played hide and seek for a few minutes and every one laughed boisterously. I got so tired that I decided to sit by the window and leaned on the plasterboard which I thought was locked with a hook. It was too late that I realized I was falling off the window. Every thing went black. And when I regained consciousness, I found myself seated on a chair with no injury and no bruises. My mother then was holding cotton with ammonia close to my nose, whose strong scent awakened me from a seemingly deep slumber. When I looked around, I saw my family and friends surrounding me, worried about my fall. When they sensed that nothing bad happened to me, they were so happy. My family were so happy too, knowing that a miracle happened. It was unexplainable that I fell to the ground of solid soil from the second floor of the house about 10 feet high, yet I was unscathed.
That same day, I believed that I was saved by my angel sent by God to protect me from harm. I don't know how my angel did it. Perhaps, he caught me just in time and put me down safely on the ground or he put an invisible cushion on the ground which protected my fragile body.
Whatever means he used to save me, all I knew is that God saved me through his angel for a reason.
As I looked back to that miraculous experience, I realized God's purpose for my life - to be part of His mission of bringing more people to His kingdom through my vocation as a teacher. Yes, I am a teacher and with this profession, I believe I can do much in making the youth know God more and establish a more personal relationship with Him.
I could vividly remember I was 6 years old then. After school, I went directly to my playmate's grandmother's house where my 6 other friends joined me to play. We played hide and seek for a few minutes and every one laughed boisterously. I got so tired that I decided to sit by the window and leaned on the plasterboard which I thought was locked with a hook. It was too late that I realized I was falling off the window. Every thing went black. And when I regained consciousness, I found myself seated on a chair with no injury and no bruises. My mother then was holding cotton with ammonia close to my nose, whose strong scent awakened me from a seemingly deep slumber. When I looked around, I saw my family and friends surrounding me, worried about my fall. When they sensed that nothing bad happened to me, they were so happy. My family were so happy too, knowing that a miracle happened. It was unexplainable that I fell to the ground of solid soil from the second floor of the house about 10 feet high, yet I was unscathed.
That same day, I believed that I was saved by my angel sent by God to protect me from harm. I don't know how my angel did it. Perhaps, he caught me just in time and put me down safely on the ground or he put an invisible cushion on the ground which protected my fragile body.
Whatever means he used to save me, all I knew is that God saved me through his angel for a reason.
As I looked back to that miraculous experience, I realized God's purpose for my life - to be part of His mission of bringing more people to His kingdom through my vocation as a teacher. Yes, I am a teacher and with this profession, I believe I can do much in making the youth know God more and establish a more personal relationship with Him.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Never hurry
This afternoon, I attended the mass and a talk by Br. Obet Cabrillas. One important lesson about life which touched me tremendously is on how I should live my life. Bro. Obet mentioned that a lot of people live their lives always in a hurry and in doing so, they never get to appreciate the precious gift of life which God bestowed upon them.
And I began to reflect on what Bro. Obet said. Am I like the many who never give much importance to life? Am I like them who are living lives in a very fast pace that there is no more opportunity to even appreciate every day blessings?
How sad that my answer to these questions is a resounding "yes." How disheartening that most of the time, I dash out every morning to go to work, do things at a faster pace to be able to cope with the demands of my job, never mind if I have even paused to mingle around, to see people in their faces, to see how they smile. It has become a routine for me that as I get to my haven in school, people seldom see me chatting with fellow workers, for I am very busy beating deadlines.
It is only now that I learned to slow down when I discovered my illness. I have a thyroid nodule which causes me a lot of inconveniences. I feel exhausted so easily even if I have done just a few things; I get impatient and irritated even at small things which I am not in control.
With these strange feelings, I realized I am not getting younger, sooner or later, I will leave this world. And this reality haunts me deeply that I began to have a paradigm shift - that from this day onwards, I will live my life as if it is my last, that I will take time to savor the beauty of life and not just let a day pass without even appreciating every single circumstance that happens throughout the day.
I know it is never too late to have a changed of perspective. Now is the time to change; now is the very time to live a life of no hurry.
And I began to reflect on what Bro. Obet said. Am I like the many who never give much importance to life? Am I like them who are living lives in a very fast pace that there is no more opportunity to even appreciate every day blessings?
How sad that my answer to these questions is a resounding "yes." How disheartening that most of the time, I dash out every morning to go to work, do things at a faster pace to be able to cope with the demands of my job, never mind if I have even paused to mingle around, to see people in their faces, to see how they smile. It has become a routine for me that as I get to my haven in school, people seldom see me chatting with fellow workers, for I am very busy beating deadlines.
It is only now that I learned to slow down when I discovered my illness. I have a thyroid nodule which causes me a lot of inconveniences. I feel exhausted so easily even if I have done just a few things; I get impatient and irritated even at small things which I am not in control.
With these strange feelings, I realized I am not getting younger, sooner or later, I will leave this world. And this reality haunts me deeply that I began to have a paradigm shift - that from this day onwards, I will live my life as if it is my last, that I will take time to savor the beauty of life and not just let a day pass without even appreciating every single circumstance that happens throughout the day.
I know it is never too late to have a changed of perspective. Now is the time to change; now is the very time to live a life of no hurry.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Reciprocity
One time, I was surprised hearing our househelp's daughter saying, "Ate Nery, di magagaling ang estudyante nyo po," (Ate, (endearing word of respect to an adult? Nery, for sure, your students are good). I asked her why she said it. And she replied, "because you are bright, so it follows that your students are also bright."
I was flattered with what I heard. And then, I began to realize that she was trying to rationalize things, that by merely looking at the source, one can easily see the product or output.
Looking at her logic, she has a point. And this simple conversation with a 10 year-old child made me think that if we will just do our very best to influence others to really live their lives to the fullest in the same way as we do, then there will be no problem of peace and order, poverty, corruption and the like. Hence, if that happens, our temporary stay on earth will not as bad as it can be.
How idealistic, easier said than done. But, it is possible, isn't it? I have watched the movie, "Pay it Forward," and in a social studies project that a student did in the movie, he made the people feel loved and cared for. Hence, in the end, this school project made the people learn to love and give it away unconditionally without counting the cost. And this results to a chain reaction, the one who gets love gives love in return.
Yes, the movie is fiction, but the idea presented there is doable. So, can we just apply the concept of love reflected in the movie, and be the next happiest man alive.
I was flattered with what I heard. And then, I began to realize that she was trying to rationalize things, that by merely looking at the source, one can easily see the product or output.
Looking at her logic, she has a point. And this simple conversation with a 10 year-old child made me think that if we will just do our very best to influence others to really live their lives to the fullest in the same way as we do, then there will be no problem of peace and order, poverty, corruption and the like. Hence, if that happens, our temporary stay on earth will not as bad as it can be.
How idealistic, easier said than done. But, it is possible, isn't it? I have watched the movie, "Pay it Forward," and in a social studies project that a student did in the movie, he made the people feel loved and cared for. Hence, in the end, this school project made the people learn to love and give it away unconditionally without counting the cost. And this results to a chain reaction, the one who gets love gives love in return.
Yes, the movie is fiction, but the idea presented there is doable. So, can we just apply the concept of love reflected in the movie, and be the next happiest man alive.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Savor Life's Beauty
This afternoon, I went to the wake of my co-teacher's father. As I looked at the coffin and fixed my gaze to a 66-year old man lying peacefully at his casket, I realized that life is really very short. With this realization, I told myself I have to enjoy life, savor each moment and each passing day as if there will be no next day. But as I was telling this to myself, a part of me is saying, "How could I ever enjoy life if I feel burdened with a lot of works to accomplish. No matter how I told myself, every thing will come to pass, I still worry when it will be over." Every day, I fret over things I cannot accomplish because no matter how I exert much effort, things do not get done because I am not in control of every thing. I still have to rely on other people's pacing and this I get so impatient about.
How I wish I can just tell other people to work according to my plan; to follow the deadline I set so that every thing can be done so easily. But it can never be. People are people. They have their own minds and they have their own schedules which perhaps are in conflict with mine. In situations like this, I try to really be patient and understanding, but it is to no avail. That's why I feel like bursting, I feel all kinds of body pains - headache, backache, stomachache and the like.
Little do I know that these body pains I feel are already physical manifestations of an illness. As I got the results of my laboratory tests, the doctor told me that I have a thyroid nodule which needs to be removed via surgery. The biopsy indicates that there are certain hurtle cell cyst features or in layman's term, the cyst is indiscriminate, which may either be benign or malignant. To be sure about the findings, a thorough examination of the entire nodule that will be extracted from my thyroid will be done through biopsy. Upon hearing what the doctor said, I got so sad and afraid, that I felt tears welling from my eyes.
Out of fear for surgical operation, I resort to alternative medicine called blood stasis or the process of detoxification. The first time I met the doctor, he said that I had to change my lifestyle since he sensed that my level of anxiety is so high. He further explained that stress and anxieties affect the digestion of food, which is very vital for our organs to function effectively since the nutrients come from the food we eat which is processed in the digestive system.
What the doctor said hit me like a thunderbolt. And on that very day, I promised myself that I will try my very best to really savor the beauty of life, to shun away temptations of worrying too much, to trust God above all and give in to the workings of the Holy Spirit to lead me to the right path amidst life's tremendous challenges.
How I wish I can just tell other people to work according to my plan; to follow the deadline I set so that every thing can be done so easily. But it can never be. People are people. They have their own minds and they have their own schedules which perhaps are in conflict with mine. In situations like this, I try to really be patient and understanding, but it is to no avail. That's why I feel like bursting, I feel all kinds of body pains - headache, backache, stomachache and the like.
Little do I know that these body pains I feel are already physical manifestations of an illness. As I got the results of my laboratory tests, the doctor told me that I have a thyroid nodule which needs to be removed via surgery. The biopsy indicates that there are certain hurtle cell cyst features or in layman's term, the cyst is indiscriminate, which may either be benign or malignant. To be sure about the findings, a thorough examination of the entire nodule that will be extracted from my thyroid will be done through biopsy. Upon hearing what the doctor said, I got so sad and afraid, that I felt tears welling from my eyes.
Out of fear for surgical operation, I resort to alternative medicine called blood stasis or the process of detoxification. The first time I met the doctor, he said that I had to change my lifestyle since he sensed that my level of anxiety is so high. He further explained that stress and anxieties affect the digestion of food, which is very vital for our organs to function effectively since the nutrients come from the food we eat which is processed in the digestive system.
What the doctor said hit me like a thunderbolt. And on that very day, I promised myself that I will try my very best to really savor the beauty of life, to shun away temptations of worrying too much, to trust God above all and give in to the workings of the Holy Spirit to lead me to the right path amidst life's tremendous challenges.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
A sacrifice
As I was riding a boat from our place going to my workplace, I happened to overhear a conversation of two ladies sitting behind me.
"I was hurt, but I have to give way. I need to sacrifice because one innocent life is involved," a 25-year old woman said to her friend.
"What happened?" her friend asked.
"My boyfriend and I quarreled over a trivial matter and we didn't talk for almost a month. Then, one time he came to me and confessed that he impregnated a girl whom he had known for less than a month.
"I really cried upon hearing what he said. Then, he was begging me to come back to him and marry him. He said that he never loved the girl and it was I whom he really loved. But then I told him, no, you should go back to the girl. I don't want to carry the guilt of depriving a baby of a father simply because I have become selfish."
"How long have you been together as boyfriend/girlfriend?"
"We have been together for 5 years. What a waste, but I can sacrifice this relationship and my love for my boyfriend because of an innocent baby."
"How old is the girl?"
"She's 20 years old, and my boyfriend is 24 years old. If only I could turn back the hands of time but I can't. Though I love him so much, but because I am a Christian and a teacher at that, I have to give in."
Listening to their conversation, I felt quite happy knowing that there are still people like that teacher who thinks of the good of others rather than hers. I do hope that her courage to let go of her beloved for the sake of others will be the same courage that we can all have -the willingness to let go of something very significant for us no matter how painful it is just to make others happy.
"I was hurt, but I have to give way. I need to sacrifice because one innocent life is involved," a 25-year old woman said to her friend.
"What happened?" her friend asked.
"My boyfriend and I quarreled over a trivial matter and we didn't talk for almost a month. Then, one time he came to me and confessed that he impregnated a girl whom he had known for less than a month.
"I really cried upon hearing what he said. Then, he was begging me to come back to him and marry him. He said that he never loved the girl and it was I whom he really loved. But then I told him, no, you should go back to the girl. I don't want to carry the guilt of depriving a baby of a father simply because I have become selfish."
"How long have you been together as boyfriend/girlfriend?"
"We have been together for 5 years. What a waste, but I can sacrifice this relationship and my love for my boyfriend because of an innocent baby."
"How old is the girl?"
"She's 20 years old, and my boyfriend is 24 years old. If only I could turn back the hands of time but I can't. Though I love him so much, but because I am a Christian and a teacher at that, I have to give in."
Listening to their conversation, I felt quite happy knowing that there are still people like that teacher who thinks of the good of others rather than hers. I do hope that her courage to let go of her beloved for the sake of others will be the same courage that we can all have -the willingness to let go of something very significant for us no matter how painful it is just to make others happy.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Reflection on Siblings' Relationship
Throughout this day, I was with the company of my sisters, I felt quite saddened because I did experience being cut short at the middle of my utterances by my elder sister whom I have looked up to for years. Well, I know nobody is perfect. Yet, I cannot help myself from having this kind of resentment towards her.
It was the very first time that I was stopped from talking in a public place by my sister who was not in the mood the whole day. Then, on hindsight, I realized, I also did the same thing to my younger sister. Since this was the very first time for me to have experienced such thing, it was kind of painful. Me, a mature adult, a professional at that, being hushed without even listening to the merits of my statements. Then, right there and then, as if a thunderbolt struck me in the head, and made me think, “Oh, it sounds familiar, I have done such thing before – letting my sister stop talking right at the middle of our conversation. My only reason was I was so tired doing my work the whole day and I wanted to rest, and I refused to hear any more noise so as I could retire that night.
Little did I know that I was hurting my sister’s feeling then. It was only when I did experience the same embarrassing situation of being hushed, that I was able to understand how it felt.
This insight taught me a great lesson about how I can improve my relationship with my siblings. Yes, I was hurt, yes I was saddened by the experience, yes, I was kind of pissed off but with little wisdom I gained from such a painful circumstance in my life, I learned to be more careful with every word I will say; lest, I may continuously cause misery and pain to my loved ones.
It was the very first time that I was stopped from talking in a public place by my sister who was not in the mood the whole day. Then, on hindsight, I realized, I also did the same thing to my younger sister. Since this was the very first time for me to have experienced such thing, it was kind of painful. Me, a mature adult, a professional at that, being hushed without even listening to the merits of my statements. Then, right there and then, as if a thunderbolt struck me in the head, and made me think, “Oh, it sounds familiar, I have done such thing before – letting my sister stop talking right at the middle of our conversation. My only reason was I was so tired doing my work the whole day and I wanted to rest, and I refused to hear any more noise so as I could retire that night.
Little did I know that I was hurting my sister’s feeling then. It was only when I did experience the same embarrassing situation of being hushed, that I was able to understand how it felt.
This insight taught me a great lesson about how I can improve my relationship with my siblings. Yes, I was hurt, yes I was saddened by the experience, yes, I was kind of pissed off but with little wisdom I gained from such a painful circumstance in my life, I learned to be more careful with every word I will say; lest, I may continuously cause misery and pain to my loved ones.
Passing Through the Ordeal
As one grows older
He is expected to grow in wisdom
Yet why is it not true to every one?
Sometimes, the person you expect to have it
Is the one devoid of such divine gift
I know how hard it is to attain wisdom
For one gains it by passing through the ordeal of fire
Tested in the hottest furnace
Blended with monstrous flame
Result: Hardened metal
Capable of enduring
More than the intensity of heat previously endured
That’s how trials of fire have molded a person
Soft when he enters,
Hardened when he exits.
He is expected to grow in wisdom
Yet why is it not true to every one?
Sometimes, the person you expect to have it
Is the one devoid of such divine gift
I know how hard it is to attain wisdom
For one gains it by passing through the ordeal of fire
Tested in the hottest furnace
Blended with monstrous flame
Result: Hardened metal
Capable of enduring
More than the intensity of heat previously endured
That’s how trials of fire have molded a person
Soft when he enters,
Hardened when he exits.
Friday, May 7, 2010
How to Be in Control When You feel Like Bursting
There are a lot of situations in our lives that put our temper into test.
As I was working on our school yearbook, I requested my staff to look for missing materials and then try checking them against those profiles already encoded. He did the sorting and encoding the whole day, but then all of a sudden it could not be saved in any flash disk. "How sad," I sighed.
Then, in the summary report encoded about the lacking materials, I noticed that there were still so many missing profiles of graduates. To top it all, I had to send them messages via email to submit their personal information and photos.
I have been working for the same yearbook for almost 2 years now and still the collection of materials is very very slow.
In my desperation, I wanted to really shout at the top of my voice, I wanted to put all the nasty words in the graduates' face book walls just for me to force them to submit. But I couldn't do it, because I have a name to protect and besides I am in a Catholic school and a teacher at that who is supposed to be a model of modesty, respect and all that good virtues. Sometimes, I get so fed up trying to please every body. But then again, I said to myself, every thing will come to pass. I will be able to accomplish it any way. I should not fret, and say nasty words because I know that whatever I have already said can no longer be unsaid. Whatever hurts I caused through my words are irreversible.
With these insights, I learned to tame my tongue. So, every time, I feel like cursing any one, shouting at them, hurling them all the negative words I could ever say, I just stop, count from 1 to 10, and pray hard to control my emotion, my anger.
Through the years, I have mastered this technique. It only takes the will and strong faith in God to really be in control amidst negative circumstances that we shall find ourselves in.
As I was working on our school yearbook, I requested my staff to look for missing materials and then try checking them against those profiles already encoded. He did the sorting and encoding the whole day, but then all of a sudden it could not be saved in any flash disk. "How sad," I sighed.
Then, in the summary report encoded about the lacking materials, I noticed that there were still so many missing profiles of graduates. To top it all, I had to send them messages via email to submit their personal information and photos.
I have been working for the same yearbook for almost 2 years now and still the collection of materials is very very slow.
In my desperation, I wanted to really shout at the top of my voice, I wanted to put all the nasty words in the graduates' face book walls just for me to force them to submit. But I couldn't do it, because I have a name to protect and besides I am in a Catholic school and a teacher at that who is supposed to be a model of modesty, respect and all that good virtues. Sometimes, I get so fed up trying to please every body. But then again, I said to myself, every thing will come to pass. I will be able to accomplish it any way. I should not fret, and say nasty words because I know that whatever I have already said can no longer be unsaid. Whatever hurts I caused through my words are irreversible.
With these insights, I learned to tame my tongue. So, every time, I feel like cursing any one, shouting at them, hurling them all the negative words I could ever say, I just stop, count from 1 to 10, and pray hard to control my emotion, my anger.
Through the years, I have mastered this technique. It only takes the will and strong faith in God to really be in control amidst negative circumstances that we shall find ourselves in.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
life's lessons
Earlier this morning, I took an FX (means of transportation) from Cubao going to a university in Manila. I stopped at Pedro Gil and took another jeepney. All the while I thought what I did was right. Then, I realized, the FX from where I alighted would drop by the university where I would go. I never even dared to ask the driver. I just relied on instructions given by my sister.
Many times it happened that I went to the wrong directions or if not took me a long while before I could reach my destinations simply because I relied on instructions given by people who too may not be sure of the exact locations of places I was looking for.
These circumstances could have been avoided if I had only asked the right person. But who is the right person? Can we claim it's our best friend who loves us dearly and who will never ever leave us through thick and thin? Or can it be our father or mother who is always there for us, who rejoices over our triumphs and weeps with us in our failures.
Knowing the right person is quite tricky, because sometimes even your family, you cannot even rely on or worse, they at times become the cause of your miseries.
In times of trouble, when you feel the world is crumbling down upon you. Gaze up in the Heavens and you will feel God's unconditional love. He loves you so much that He chose to die for your sins that you may have an eternal life.
Many times it happened that I went to the wrong directions or if not took me a long while before I could reach my destinations simply because I relied on instructions given by people who too may not be sure of the exact locations of places I was looking for.
These circumstances could have been avoided if I had only asked the right person. But who is the right person? Can we claim it's our best friend who loves us dearly and who will never ever leave us through thick and thin? Or can it be our father or mother who is always there for us, who rejoices over our triumphs and weeps with us in our failures.
Knowing the right person is quite tricky, because sometimes even your family, you cannot even rely on or worse, they at times become the cause of your miseries.
In times of trouble, when you feel the world is crumbling down upon you. Gaze up in the Heavens and you will feel God's unconditional love. He loves you so much that He chose to die for your sins that you may have an eternal life.
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