Reflecting on my Vocation

Today's Gospel is focused on vocation.  While listening to Fr. Steve Tynan's homily this morning and to Bishop Tagle's reflection  in his TV program "The Word Exposed" in Channel 4, God reminds me once again of my mission, my vocation as an educator, that is, to touch and  transform lives.  This same mission reverberates in my being. As a matter of fact, God used so many people to make me realize this vocation of being a teacher like His son.  During my confession with a foreign priest, Fr. said this statement which I could never forget, "Being a teacher is a privilege but it is also a responsibility."  That time, it dawned on me that I really have to be cautious in doing my responsibilities because I deal with young minds.  Moreover, since I am a teacher, I represent the very vocation which Jesus Christ instituted when He became a man and lived with His people. Since Jesus is my model, I have to follow His footsteps no matter how hard it is. 

In another instance, during one of the school's outreach programs in rural area, I met a mother who shared her life story with me.  She recounted how she and her son would work hard day in and day out just so  that her teenage boy could study in college.  She was sewing rags the from dawn to dusk while her son was working as a tricycle driver the whole day and studying at night.  This happened for five long years. And one day when she woke up, she was just so surprised that her son would already graduate from college.  In less than a month after graduation, her son was able to get a decent job in Ortigas. This woman's life story is so amazing that I was able to inspire my students to do the same, to be good in their studies and really work hard to obtain a degree not only for themselves but also for their families.  

As I meet people from all walks of life, they constantly remind me of my vocation, to inspire people to be the best they can be.  Just like what today's Gospel communicates to each one of us, we are God's disciples.  And for my end, I will continue to be one through my vocation.  

Overcoming depression

As I woke up this morning, I felt quite depressed.  I couldn’t explain why.  The previous day I was kind of vibrant, finishing my editing tasks.  Then, just this morning, I had a different mood.  Call it mood swings but rarely does it happen to me.  Even amidst this unexplainable feeling, I dressed up , fixed myself, faked a smile as I looked at myself at the mirror for I believe that I am the captain of my ship, so I could set the tone for my day’s activities.

In the afternoon, a miracle happened, seemingly my  loneliness vanished instantly.  Do you want to know how it happened?

Every Sunday, I am used to attending the Light of Jesus “The Feast” comprising of a Holy Mass and a talk.  So even if I felt quite heavy due to lack of sleep and my little depression, I still attended the Mass.  During the Homily of the priest, I was moved to tears when he shared about the story of an old man who  evidently suffered from stroke because of his distorted speech.  That man approached the counter of a drug store, took out his money and gave the pharmacist the doctor’s prescription of his medicine.  In his slurred speech, he tried to communicate with the pharmacist.  After his transaction, he smiled at the priest beside him even if he never knew him.  His smile communicated profound joy that despite his physical handicap,
he is still happy with his life. Not a tinge of sorrow can be seen in his eyes.
Upon hearing that story, I began to reflect on my life.  I started asking myself questions like, “What is really making me sad?  Why am I not happy with my life despite the bountiful blessings I have been receiving from God? Why do I still feel this kind of emptiness?   Deep within me, I found answers to these questions.  That the reasons for my loneliness and depression are my inability to accomplish all my pending work and projects and my being envious of others’ fortune and talents.  All the while I thought I have already overcome envy.  But now I realized it is coming back.  Finding all these reasons makes me at peace with myself knowing what to work on in my spiritual life.  Then, with this realization, I recalled once again that story of an old man.   Using his life as an inspiration, I tried to forget all those worries, anxieties and envy in my head.  I also prayed over them so that I will no longer be bothered by those negative thoughts.  And thanks be to God, I can now say, I’m happy- happy despite all my work loads,  despite my imperfections, and despite my feeling of insecurities that there are better and more talented people than I am.

I just do hope that this kind of joyful feeling will last.

unbelievable hostage drama

I won't ever forget that tragic and sad ending of hostage taking that all the Filipino people have witnessed. It all started with SPO2 Rolando Mendoza's  request to hitch in a tourist bus boarding almost 24 Chinese nationals who were on their last day of their tour in the Philippines. They were all supposedly going back to China that night of August 23, yet because of that hostage drama, nine of them died and the other six stayed at the hospital for one or two days to recuperate. Nine were reportedly released earlier that day before Mendoza fired successive shots.

SPO2 Mendoza's reason for hostage taking was to return him to his job. Newsreports in 2008 reveal that he was among five police officers charged with robbery, extortion and grave threats. The charges were laid after a hotel chef in Manila complained that officers had falsely accused him of using drugs in order to extort money from him.

The hostage drama started peacefully.   At first, during the negotiation we saw how calm Mendoza was, in fact, he had been releasing some of the hostages in exchange for his simple requests like gas, food, etc.  However, according to Isko Moreno, Vice Mayor of Manila, when he gave the letter from the Ombudsman, Mendoza seemed in good mood.  Yet, after receiving a call from unknown source (as to date),  his mood changed and started to fire a gun.  He became all the more furious upon seeing his brother on TV being dragged by the police to a mobile car and be taken to a precinct.  In a few seconds after that, he fired gunshots successively.  With the police assaults and the continuous exchange of gunfire,  nine Chinese died, and this death toll infuriated many Chinese in Hong  Kong.  Foreign reports say that some Chinese are maltreating their Filipino maids because of what had happened to their fellowmen.

How sad! Sad because a decorated military man risked his life for a just cause but for the wrong means.  Sad because the means that he resorted to killed about nine foreigners, which made the Philippines the object of mockery worldwide. Sad because the hope that we are trying to build among our fellow citizens after the peaceful May 2010 elections was marred by the hostage taking.

I do hope  it won't happen again in our history.

On Pleasing People

Every one dreams of being able to please people from family, friends, to even co-employees and clients.  But pleasing others from the very meaning of the term really requires a tough job since each one has his/her own preferences.  Hence, no matter what we do, we will still end up not being able to satisfy even the closest people in our lives, so why not be satisfied from knowing that some people genuinely appreciate us and all our efforts. The number doesn't matter as long we have people around who really support us and who will stand by our side.


So every time I encounter people's dissatisfactions, I try as much as I can to be of help, to address their concerns, yet if my efforts are not enough, I can just rest my case and do better some other time.  What I learned in this life is not so much to care for what others will say as long as I am doing the best way I can - that is all that really counts.

Everyday Miracle

Have you ever felt helpless once in your life?  Have you ever cried over a disease that requires immediate operation?  Have you ever felt like a candle melting gradually right before your very eyes?

I have felt them all. It was only recently that I discovered I have a thyroid nodule.  After a series of laboratory tests, the doctor said that I needed to undergo operation within three months since a hurtle cell feature was identified in the biopsy. A hurtle cell is an indiscriminate cell which may either be benign or malignant. To be certain about its identity, the nodule needs to be extracted wholly for biopsy.

That very moment upon hearing my doctor's advice, I couldn't control the tears welling from my eyes.  I dread the time when a surgeon will open my neck and remove the solid mass in my thyroid. I have a lot of doubts.   What if the doctor commits an error and some  healthy tissues or cells get removed too along with the nodule which may cause my paralysis for life?  What if because of the doctor's  clumsiness, my voice box, larynx, gets affected which may further result in my loss of voice?

These doubts I couldn't get rid off in my mind.  No matter what my doctor said it's safe and that I am in the best hospital in the Philippines, I couldn't convince myself to submit for operation.

Now, I am really thankful to God that I was given another option. I will have four months of medication and hopefully within this period, my nodule will become smaller so that it will not be removed by surgery.

With a lot of miracles happening around, I firmly believe God will create a miracle in my life.  I know He will heal me of my thyroid in His time.  Call it mysticism, but I choose to believe for I know with God nothing is impossible.

My Vocation

Many times in my life I have felt like giving up my vocation.  Every time I get home dead tired from  the whole day work, I always say to myself, "Enough, enough."  But then again, I am always cautioned by the thought of not finding the right work for me. To my mind, "If I will quit teaching, what job will I apply for?  What  office work will I be good at?"  These questions are like a  song's refrain  lingering in my mind  only to be reminded again and again  of a similar answer, "Yes, I can find one, but  I am pretty sure, I  won't ever excel in that field."

God is good because His design is amazing.  He gave each one of us talents which we can use in our vocation which He had designed for each of us even before our birth.


So, why will I quit if it's God  who anointed  me with this noble mission of educating the youth, the mission of molding the youth into Christlike individuals to make this world a better place to live in? Why will I quit if I know I am fortunate to be among the blessed ones, chosen to shape the mind of the future - to radically influence the youth to collectively work for a better future where peace, love, justice and love for nature reign in the hearts of the many.  Why will I quit if I'm following the footsteps of our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, a Great Teacher, who laid down His own life for His unconditional love for you and me.

So, if time comes again that such bad idea of quitting crosses my mind, I'll brush it off and say, "I'm a teacher and I'll die as a teacher."

Saved by an angel

I believe angels are real.  If they are not, how could we explain miracles that happened to babies and children who were miraculously saved from danger?

I could vividly remember  I was 6 years old then.  After school, I went directly to my playmate's grandmother's house where my 6 other friends joined me to play.  We played hide and seek for a few minutes and every one laughed boisterously.  I got so tired that I decided to sit by the window and leaned on the plasterboard  which I thought was locked with a hook.  It was too late that I realized I was falling off the window.  Every thing went black.  And when I regained consciousness, I found myself seated on a chair with no injury and no bruises.  My mother then was holding cotton with ammonia close to my nose,  whose strong scent awakened me from a seemingly deep slumber. When I  looked around, I saw my family and friends surrounding me, worried about my fall.  When they sensed that nothing bad happened to me, they were so happy. My family were so happy too, knowing that a miracle happened.  It was unexplainable that I fell to the ground of solid soil from the second floor of the house about 10 feet high, yet I was unscathed.

 That same day, I believed that I was saved by my angel sent by God to protect me from harm.  I don't know how my angel did it.  Perhaps, he caught me just in time and put me down safely on the ground or he put an invisible cushion on the ground which protected my fragile body.

Whatever means he used to save me, all I knew is that God saved me through his angel  for a reason.

As I looked back to that miraculous experience, I realized God's purpose for my life - to be part of His mission of bringing more people to His kingdom through my vocation as  a teacher.  Yes, I am a teacher and with this profession, I believe I can do much in making the youth know God more and establish a more personal relationship with Him.