Savor Life's Beauty

This afternoon, I went to the wake of my co-teacher's father.  As I looked at the coffin and fixed my gaze to a 66-year old man lying peacefully at his casket, I realized that life is really very short. With this realization, I told myself I have to enjoy life, savor each moment and each passing day as if there will be no next day.   But as I was telling this to myself, a part of me is saying, "How could I ever enjoy life if I feel burdened with a lot of works to accomplish.  No matter how I told myself, every thing will come to pass, I still worry when it will be over." Every day, I fret over things I cannot accomplish because no matter how I exert much effort, things do not get done because I am not in control of every thing.  I still have to rely on other people's pacing and this I get so impatient about.

How I wish I can just tell other people to work according to my plan; to follow the deadline I set so that every thing can be done so easily.  But it can never be.  People are people.  They have their own minds and they have their own schedules which perhaps are in conflict with mine.  In situations like this, I try to really be patient and understanding, but it is to no avail.  That's why I feel like bursting, I feel all kinds of body pains - headache, backache, stomachache and the like.

Little do I know that these body pains I feel are already physical manifestations of an illness.  As I got the results of my laboratory tests, the doctor told me that I have a thyroid nodule which needs to be removed via surgery. The biopsy indicates that there are certain hurtle cell cyst features or in layman's term, the cyst is indiscriminate, which may either be benign or malignant. To be sure about the findings, a thorough examination of the entire nodule that will be extracted from my thyroid will be done through biopsy.  Upon hearing what the doctor said, I got so sad and afraid, that I felt tears welling from my eyes.

Out of fear for surgical operation, I resort to alternative medicine called blood stasis or the process of detoxification.  The first time I met the doctor, he said that I had to change my lifestyle since he sensed that my level of anxiety is so high.  He further explained that stress and anxieties affect the digestion of food, which is very vital for our organs to function effectively since the nutrients come from the food we eat which is processed in the digestive system.

What the doctor said hit me like a thunderbolt.  And on that very day,  I promised myself that I will try my very best to really savor the beauty of life, to shun away temptations of worrying too much, to trust God above all and give in to the workings of the Holy Spirit to lead me to the right path amidst life's tremendous challenges.